


Words Unspoken

by theawesomepfanfic



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - GTA, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2685878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theawesomepfanfic/pseuds/theawesomepfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan Haywood hadn't mumbled a word in years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH I have fallen in love with FakeAHComics stuff on Tumblr and have fallen into the trap dear lord  
> SO HERE IS MY MUTE RYAN FIC YES  
> Warnings; Death of a non-main character and torture near the end!!

Ryan had been with Geoff’s gang for about two months. He’d been called in to help the man with a large operation, and ended up staying with them to help out with things here and there. When he had first joined the group, he had no plan of staying with them for as long as he did. It should have been a get in, get the cash, and get out deal- just like the rest of the jobs he did. It was just something about the crew that he had become a part of that he couldn’t will himself to pull away from them. He didn’t know if this was a good thing or a bad thing; for one, people could target the rest of them now in some attempt to get him in their trap. On the other, he finally found that he had a place that he fit in. No one in the large home judged him for the things he did, present or past. It was as if they had just accepted him into their life, and he had finally opened himself up to them.

First of all, there was Geoff; the one who had called on him originally, asking for his help in what he called ‘The Grand Heist.’ The money that was involved was something that Ryan couldn’t just turn down, and the thrill of the whole thing was the final deciding factor. He had accepted Geoff’s invitation, and found that the older man wasn’t the truly scary figure he had been set up to be. He was more of a drunk, funny old coot who cared for the people around him. Ryan had admired that about him from the start, how much Geoff seemed to care about his team. Ryan had been the only ‘addition’ to Geoff’s original group, but found that Geoff accepted him in without hesitation. He was the fourth off of his list.  

“I’ve had my eye on you for a while, Mr. Mad Mercenary,” Geoff had said after the Heist had gone exactly as planned, “and don’t you dare think that I’m letting you leave now.”

It was truthfully odd to Ryan, when Geoff had asked him to permanently join the crew. He’d never been offered anything like that from any group he’d ever worked with; most people found his silence to be too creepy or backwards for their liking. He’d come accustom to being alone, working alone, living alone, alone. Loneliness had become something he found every day, and he had learned to accept it and all that it came with. He wasn’t afraid of being alone, but when Geoff had extended the offer to him, he had found he was tired of it. He’d become fond of the guys on Geoff’s crew, and the whole thing had been such a shock to him that they too had come to like him.

The most shocking of them all had been Michael. From the start Ryan had known that Michael was a force not to be reckoned with. He was moody, had a bad temper, and could blow you up without a single shred of regret. Those were all things that Ryan had come to admire about Michael, but at the start they had not hit it off very well. The red head had yelled at Geoff for ‘bringing such a dangerous fuck’ into their lives, and how much ‘the bastard couldn’t be trusted.’ All of these things had been true. Ryan had originally planned to screw them all over in the end, pick them off and take off with all of the money. The fact that Michael had suspected that wasn’t something Ryan had liked about him. He felt that he and Michael would never get along, and at first he was fine with that. It would make the little prick easier to kill off.  

Of course, then Michael had to go and save his god damned life. Geoff had wanted to test out their skills as a team now that Ryan had joined, and they had planned a smaller heist on some grocery store in the dead center of town. Something that would surely attract all of the cops once one thing had gone wrong, which had easily happened. The man behind the counter had pulled a gun and fired it straight into Gavin’s shoulder, and alerted the cops in a matter of seconds. They were swarmed not five moments later, and had split up into three groups of two.

At first, Ryan had sworn the world hated him. Geoff had scooped up Gavin and took off one way, and Jack had grabbed Ray and ran the other. He and Michael shared a look for a few moments, before shooting out the back door and climbing up and onto the roof. They had thought they were safe, and Michael had turned to Ryan and gave him the darkest of glares.

“I’m onto you, you damn mute.” He had snarled, hiding behind an air duct and pointing his finger across the way. Ryan had looked away, reloading his gun and ignoring Michael’s claim. At this point, he’d found himself growing found of Gavin and Ray, and his original plan was becoming harder to follow up on. Hell, by now he was growing close to Jack as well. She had become someone he could trust, a companion who could relay what he was thinking to the others just by reading him. Ryan had no plan of hurting them anymore. He couldn’t.

Maybe Michael. Things would be so much better without the asshole breathing down his neck every five seconds, watching him like a hawk and acting like Ryan was some demon just waiting to spring and snap all of their necks. He could kill Michael, and he wouldn’t regret it. Just as Michael thought about him.

The roar of the helicopter ruined the moment of cold feeling between the two of them. Michael had taken off first, jumping across to the next building and booking it as fast as he could to the next. Ryan followed him, turning his gun and firing up at the police chopper that was firing back at him just as fast. They were almost to the apartment complex, where they could take the steps down to the alley and hide out, when a shot had gotten his leg; and just because the world hated him, right when he was about to jump to the next building.

He had jumped, but not hard enough to get himself up onto the roof. His gun had fallen from his grip and he found himself dangling from the building, his leg exploding with pain and his fingers starting to slip from the cool stone. He swore that it was the end of him at that moment, and all because he had chosen to work with a bunch of idiots. Lovable idiots, but idiots that had just lead him to his doom.

His fingers were just about to slip when he felt the cool stone disappear and a warm hand grab his own. He looked up to find Michael there, firing up at the helicopter and tugging Ryan up with his other arm.

“You’re fucking heavy!” He’d yelled, yanking Ryan up and returning all his attention to the chopper above them. He took the shooter down within a second, and then pulled Ryan up and yanked him towards the stairs on the other side of the building. He had supported Ryan the whole way down, before tossing him on the ground and ducking in front of him, shielding the older man from any eyes.

Ryan must have been staring at him, because Michael had looked at him before scoffing and glancing away, messing around with his gun and fixing his vest. “Don’t think this means I like you. Geoff would have killed me if I let you fall to your death.”

Ryan had told himself a long time ago that anyone that cared enough to save his life would be taken off of his ‘kill’ list. So that evening, after Jack had patched up his leg and sent him off to bed, he pulled the yellow piece of paper out and scratched Michael off of the worn paper. He was the last one off of the list. He’d folded it and stuck it back under his pillow, looking up at the ceiling and wondering just why he had come to like these people.

Gavin was actually an easy one for him to like. The young Brit was spunky and full of life, and his hacking skills were crazy. Ryan had worked with many hackers in his days, but none of them as dedicated and as well on point as Gavin was. Not to mention he was a good shot at times, and could turn the worse situation into the best. Of course, Gavin had been annoying at first. He was loud, squawked a lot for a human being, and truly was an idiot at times.

The one thing that really hit Ryan was how much Gavin cared about _him._ No one before had asked him as many questions as Gavin did, nor had they bothered to pester Ryan for as much information. Gavin wanted to know all about Ryan as he could, and something about that truly made Ryan’s heart grow. He grew found of Gavin asking him questions and waiting for Ryan to scribble an answer down or show him what he wanted to say. No one had ever been as patient with him as Gavin was. He was the second one scratched off his list.  

If he had to pick one of the others to spend the rest of his life with on a deserted island, it would surely be Jack. Jack was resourceful, happy, and bright- he was just someone that Ryan found was very easy to like. She also was one of the easiest people to communicate with; when Geoff had reminded them all that Ryan ‘didn’t do the whole talking thing,’ Jack was the first one to attempt to figure Ryan’s way of speech out. They’d sat together for a long time, and Jack had watched Gavin ask Ryan questions- he’d later tell Ryan it was so he could memorize all of Ryan’s quirks and movements, so it was easier to tell just what Ryan was thinking.

Jack had become Ryan’s second best friend. She was always patching him up and fretting over the ‘stupid’ things he did, and Ryan found that he had an odd warm feeling in his chest when Jack would start to worry about him or ask him a question. He was glad he had an interpreter of sorts to translate his feelings to the rest of the crew, and he thanked God for Jack’s existence constantly. Jack had been the third one off of his list.

The first person off of his list was, without a single doubt in his mind, Ray. Ray had been the first one to truly grow on him, to become something more than just a crew member. To become something more than just a friend, even. No, Ryan had fallen in love with Ray, and it scared him. The youngest of the crew had instantly pulled Ryan into his spell bounding appearance, his cocky yet indifferent attitude, his sweet smile- everything about him had changed Ryan’s view on the world. Ryan didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted to be with Ray. He wanted to be with Ray and the rest of his friends, and the whole thing was so very new to him.

Ray had first talked to him. Next to Geoff, of course, but the first one to actually not act afraid of him. Jack had been leery and had left the room right after the meeting had ended. Michael had stormed out in an angry rush, and Gavin had hid behind Geoff as they left the room. Ryan didn’t move from his spot, trying to remember that he was in this for the money. Just the money; he didn’t care if these people cared about him, he shouldn’t have cared that they were all so afraid of him. He knew from the start that they were all different from other groups he had worked with; but he hadn’t expected to feel such a tug towards them from the beginning.

“You like Pong?” Ray had also stayed in the living room, but had taken a seat on the couch and turned on some ancient game system. “I’d ask something else, but Michael broke our X-box. So Jack pulled this dinosaur out for the time being. There is also Tetris, but you’d cry because I’d whoop your ass.” Ray held out another controller for him to take, tilting his head a bit.

Ryan had been shocked, but he’d allowed himself to walk over and take the controller from the younger man. Ray was shockingly good at the game, and they’d sat and played the old thing for hours- and Ray had just talked to him. About himself, about the crew, about this and that. He’d treated Ryan like he was a human being, not the monster that everyone else saw him as; Ryan found that he liked it.

“What’s under the mask, by the way?” Ray had looked over at him, tilting his head a bit and smiling. Ryan had found that he didn’t mind showing the face paint under his mask. Of course, he could never show Ray what was under that; he didn’t want to pull Ray into something that deep. Not after what Ryan had been through… Not the scars.

Ray had seemed shocked at the pain, but had laughed at it and reminded Ryan that it might be better for him to play without the lousy mask on his face. Ryan had been a bit embarrassed by that, but waved at Ray and pulled it back on. He was used to living with the mask on; he was very much used to it.

In those moments and the million others that he would spend with Ray in the next month, he felt himself falling more and more for the other man.

He kept his feelings to himself though; he couldn’t just blurt out to Ray that he loved him. As if he could even remember how to get the words out of his mouth. It had been years since he’d last spoken; it was as foreign to him as another language. Of course, Jack knew. He’d caught it not long after the Grand Heist had ended, and Ryan had been pacing around, waiting for Ray to return. He’d been late, and it was one of the scariest things Ryan had ever experienced in his whole life. The true fear that Ray might not come back to him. Hell, it was Ray and Michael that were missing, and Ryan couldn’t stand the empty feeling that was in his gut.

“You’re sure worried, aren’t you?” Jack had asked, patching up a cut on Gavin’s cheek and glancing over at Ryan with soft eyes. Ryan had waved him off, glancing out the window yet again. In the light reflection he could see Jack pat Gavin on the back and tell him to go find Geoff. Once the Brit had left, Jack had come up behind him.

“It’s Ray, isn’t it? I can tell by the way you watch him. You interact with him differently than the rest of us. You really like him.” Jack had teased, and Ryan and found himself staring out the window with longing eyes; and the teasing look on Jack’s face disappeared. “It really is him, huh?”

Since then, nothing more had come of it. They’d done more heists, they’d taken a few of Geoff’s enemies down, and Ryan had felt himself feeling more and more like he was part of the group. Even Michael was starting to grow on him. Things all went downhill though, when Kdin had turned his back on them and taken half of their savings before trying to start up his own gang; which had pissed Geoff off to unknown extremes.

“We’re taking that fucking worm down.” Geoff hadn’t given them much time; he’d located Kdin and planned to take him down swiftly and as quick as possible. He’d split them into teams, and they’d all take up the building from a different side. Michael and Gavin left first, wishing them the best- and taking bets on who would take Kdin down. Geoff and Jack left second, but not after a worried glance from Jack to Ryan happened.

He waved at Jack and shook his head. ‘I’ll be fine.’ It wasn’t as if his love for Ray got in the way of his work. He could still function as the psychopath killer that people knew him as, but now he was just a psychopath killer with a love interest. He felt like his life was some sort of a bad romance novel.

Nothing went as planned. Kdin had been expecting them, Ryan guessed. He had guards plastered at every single door, and when they’d arrived the other four were already on the run, followed by Kdin’s goonies. That, of course, left Ray and Ryan face to face with the scumbag.

“Ah, if it isn’t the R and R connection. Coming to take me down? That’s cute.” Kdin had met them outside, leaning against the wall of his new building and looking out onto the waters that were beside it.

“Why’d you choose here, Kdin? There is a sewer pipe over there; did you feel closer to home?” Ray asked, raising his gun and pointing it straight at Kdin’s head. Ryan let him do it; he’d barely gotten to know Kdin in the time he’d been there, and he knew the betrayal surely stung Ray more than it did him.  

Kdin’s lips turned up in a snarl, and he straightened up and pulled something from his pocket. Ray must not have noticed, for his eyes were locked on Kdin’s. Ryan did, and he knew exactly what it was. His eyes darted around the area, and he could see the various bombs waiting for their order all around.

“No, because it’s the easiest place to dispose of bodies.” Kdin pulled the detonator up in the air, pressing his finger down on the trigger and smirking evilly as he did. Ryan had only a moment to react, and he did without thinking twice. His hand moved to Ray’s chest, and with a forceful shove he sent the other man flying back and into the water behind them. In the moment their eyes met, he opened his mouth for the first time in years.

“I love you.” The words came out smoother than he had ever expected them too, and the terrified look on Ray’s face showed exactly how he felt. Ray fell over the edge of the pier and into the water just as the bombs got their command to blow, and Ryan flew backwards as the force of the explosion knocked him out.

Just maybe he let his love life get in the way of his work.  

 

Ray didn’t know what was going on. One moment he was pointing a gun at Kdin, the next he was being grabbed by Ryan and being told he was loved, and now he was underwater with his ears ringing. His gun was still in his hand, and his eyes were open under the cold water. All he could see was darkness, and the bit of light that happened to streak through the top of the liquid around him.

Ryan loved him. Ryan had spoken, had made sure Ray got away from the blast, and told Ray he loved him; and now he was probably dead. It was all too much for Ray to swallow, and in those moments under the water, he’d almost let go. Almost took in a gulp of water, almost closed his eyes to the cold nothingness around him.

But Ryan loved him. He swam back up to the surface, gasping for air and keeping himself as quiet as possible. The current of the water must have pulled him back, for the pier was further away than he had expected. He could only see Kdin’s shadow, standing up from wherever his hiding spot had been, walking over to another shadow on the ground. He could only watch as Kdin kicked at Ryan’s side before leaning down and touching his neck.

A cold feeling settled over Ray as Kdin checked for Ryan’s pulse. Could Ryan even be alive? He was probably scorched beyond recognition. Ray felt sick, so very sick in that moment. Yet the way that Kdin stood up, the way he seemed so angry; Ray had to wonder if Ryan was alive. Had to pray to whatever God he could that Ryan would be okay.

When two of Kdin’s mercenaries picked Ryan up and dragged him back into the building, his prayer was answered. Ryan was going to explain to him what he meant; and Kdin was going to eat lead for trying to blow him up.

 

When Ryan woke up, everything was on fire. He groaned in agony, trying to move any part of his body that he could; but found that he was tied up. His eyes flew open, and he looked all around himself. He was on a chair in the middle of an office room, with two guards watching him with narrowed eyes. His clothes were burned to the point that they were practically falling off of him, and his skin burned like crazy. He must have just been out of range of the blast; but didn’t completely escape its wrath.

He noticed then that his mask was missing. An extreme sense of fear- fear he hadn’t felt in so long, not since he’d last been in a situation like this- took him over. He tried to struggle against his bindings, only to feel sharp pain in his wrists and ankles. He looked down to find that barbed wire was wrapped around his feet, keeping him to the chair and sending pain throughout him when he moved. There was a reason that Kdin had been their number one man for torture, and he could see why now.

“Something wrong, Ryan? Missing something?” Kdin entered the room with a twisted smile on his face, holding a mirror up in his hand for Ryan to see. Dread hit him like a baseball to the face as he saw his face, clear of his face paint and his mask, staring back at him. Kdin looked beyond satisfied with himself, and he placed the mirror down before walking up to Ryan.

“It’s going to be so enjoyable; I’m going to show your face to the world, Ryan Haywood. I’m going to tell them everything about you… and then, I’m going to kill you. I’m going to slit your throat and keep your head as a prize.” Kdin whispered, laying his hands on Ryan’s shoulders and smiling at him. Ryan glared at him, trying to mask the fear and pain that was running throughout him. He hid his face for a reason, to keep himself hidden. To keep himself safe. To keep his dignity in death; but now Kdin was going to take that all away from him. Everything he had strived for.

“What? You’re still not going to talk? I sure heard you talk too little old Ray!” Kdin brought his hand up and forcefully grabbed Ryan’s face, squeezing his cheeks and making his lips move, “ _I love you!”_ He cooed in a mocking fashion, pulling his hand away and cracking Ryan’s neck in the process. Ryan dropped his head down, breathing heavy and fearing for his life for the first time in years.

“Don’t worry; I’ll make sure Ray sees your pretty face. All those lovely scars, plus the ones I’m going to give you. I want to hear you talk some more, Ryan!” Kdin picked up a knife from a desk of tools, spinning it in his fingers and smiling at Ryan with the most twisted look he’d ever seen on the other’s face. Ryan swallowed back a gulp of fear; pressing himself back into the chair and feeling himself shake.

“See, for people who don’t want to talk, I’d normally cut something off that they liked. But I’ve never had someone who _doesn’t_ talk.” Kdin placed the knife down, and instead grabbed a long scalpel, turning back to Ryan and running his finger down the blade. “For you, I’m going to have a little fun. I’m going to brand you, so when they get your body they’ll know just who killed you.”

Kdin used the scalpel to cut open a patch of Ryan’s already torn pants, pulling it away and looking Ryan straight in the eye. “Tell me when.” He whispered, taking the blade and sticking it into Ryan’s leg- and pushing it down, down into his skin. Ryan bit his lip hard, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as Kdin pressed the blade further down into him before starting to move it, carving a ‘K’ into his leg.

Ryan lost track of time after so long, his head too full of pain and some sort of emptiness that he’d never experienced before. Kdin only got worse as time got on, doing whatever he could to try and prompt Ryan into talking. Ryan tried to ignore him, tried to ignore the pain and simply pray for rescue. Of course, he knew it would never come. Geoff would be happy to get Ryan out of his hands. Michael would probably rejoice at his death. Gavin and Jack might be sad at first, but Jack wouldn’t have to worry about making sure Ryan felt in anymore, and Gavin would be able to attach his fascination onto someone better.

And Ray would probably be the happiest of them all. He wouldn’t have some creepy, old, crazy fuck in love with him. He could live his life without Ryan always being there. They’d all be so much better without him being there. Hell, if he hadn’t been there in the first place, they might not be in this whole situation. He was better off dead.

He finally cracked when Kdin broke his wrist. He snapped it like a stick, pulling it from the barbed wire and cracked it without a single hesitation. Ryan couldn’t do it anymore, and let out a painful scream, his whole body was conversing and blood was streaming from what seemed to be every limb, every bit of him. Kdin smiled, dropping his wrist down and grabbing his other hand.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you! Let me just even that out.” Kdin snapped his other wrist and proceeded to snap it as he had his other. Ryan again screamed, feeling so much pain so fast; this was so much worse than the time previous, and he just couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to give up; he knew all he had to do was what Kdin wanted.

And so he did.

“S-Stop…” He choked, the word coming out weakly. Kdin had heard it, and with a triumphant laugh dropped Ryan’s arm and grabbed his phone. He took picture after picture of Ryan, cackling like a mad man. All Ryan could care about was that it was over. It was over for him, and the rest of them were safe. Ray was safe.

Kdin picked his head up, looking at him with devious eyes and snapping another picture. Ryan felt himself slipping away already, and he hopped he passed out before Kdin cut his damn head off. He closed his eyes and let it all happen, hoping that death wasn’t as cold as people described it.

“Get your fucking hands off of him.” There were two gunshots that made him open his eyes, and he lifted his head up and found himself no longer looking at Kdin, but rather Jack. Geoff was behind him, his gun moving from the two guards slumped bodies to Kdin, who was on the floor. Michael entered the room, covered in blood and looking livid. Gavin and Ray followed him, and both instantly went to Ryan’s sides, untying him as Jack tried to tend to him in any way.

“You fuck.” Michael hissed, pulling out his gun and placing it right on Kdin’s forehead. Geoff stepped back, putting his gun away and letting Michael handle Kdin. “You fucking tried to blow them up!”

“Learned from the best, right???” Kdin laughed, his eyes wide and focused on the gun, that a moment later ended his life. His body fell back and Michael turned back to the rest of them, looking at Ryan with _worried eyes._  

“What did he do to him? Jack?” Michael asked, and Ryan noticed how they all looked so worried. Not just Michael, not just Jack; all of them did. Gavin was squeezing his shoulder, and Jack was fixing a cut on his cheek. Geoff was standing back and away, but was on his phone with who he assumed with Caleb. Michael was back to kicking Kdin’s dead body, shaking in anger and glancing at Ryan every so often. Ray was gently, oh so gently stroking his hair.

He passed out.

 

“He told me that he loved me, Jack. He told me he loved me, and then he pushed me into the water. He saved me… and I let him get tortured by that rat.” When Ryan first woke up, it was to the sound of conversation at his bedside. He was too tired to pull his eyes open, so he allowed them to stay shut as he listened to Ray and Jack talk back and forth. It was soothing, in a way.

“You know, I never expected him to look like this.” Jack said, changing the tune of the conversation, “I always thought he’d be more rugged and scary looking. He honestly just looks normal, but- a little more attractive than normal.”

Whatever Jack had said must have triggered a reaction from Ray, because the next thing Ryan heard was Jack’s laugher and grumbling from Ray. He smiled faintly as he heard it, wanting to open his eyes and show them that he was awake; until Jack spoke again.

“Well Ray, there is something you’re going to have to ask yourself. Do you like Ryan back? Or don’t you? It’s your feelings, not mine.” Jack stood up, Ryan could tell by the way the bed shifted and the wood creaked. He suddenly didn’t want to open his eyes anymore, after remembering just what he had said to Ray.

So he let himself be lured back into the warmth of the sheets around him and the painkillers calling for him to just sleep.

 

The second time he woke up, it was to someone adjusting his arm from over his chest and onto a pillow that was lying next to him. This time, he wanted to open his eyes and confront whoever was in front of him; he didn’t want to seem week anymore then he had too. He forced his tired eyes open and found himself staring face to face with Jack, who smiled at him instantly and fluffed the pillow under his casted arm.

“How are you feeling, Ry? You sure went through hell- gave us all a scare.” Jack ended his fluffing and looked at Ryan with caring, worried eyes. Ryan remembered his doubt towards the man when he was being tortured by Kdin.

He wanted to wave his hand around; his hands were his one key way of showing how he felt… but he couldn’t move either one, and remembered now that Kdin had gone and broken both of his wrists. Something like fear brushed over him for a few moments as he realized he had no way of communication with anyone; not unless he talked. He had been doing an extreme amount of it already. Four words in one day, or so he guessed it had been.

When he had finally started to grow attached to the other crew members, he had thought about breaking his veil of silence; of pushing the past out of his mind and focusing on the future, on the new people in his life who would surely help him learn to speak properly again. He had been afraid of what they would think by that. Maybe they didn’t want him to be a apart of the crew for as long as he was planning, and actually speaking with them would surely show he wanted to stick with them to the end.

Now that they had saved him, he hoped that it showed they truly cared for him and wanted to stay. So he took a deep breath and looked up at Jack.

“I’m… alright.”

The look of shock on Jack’s face matched the one that Ray had given him back at the pier. Of course, the words came out hoarse and pathetic from his untrained throat, and poor Jack looked like he was ready to explode from happiness. But she seemed to settle down fast, and Ryan thanked the lord that he had Jack as the first- well second- to hear his voice. Jack knew not to make it some big fiasco, but rather just let it happen.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Ryan. I’d stay to chat, but I think some other people want to see you as well.” Jack squeezed his arm with a wink, walking slowly to the door and yanking it open. Gavin and Michael tumbled in together, both of them previously leaning against the door to listen in on what was going on.

“Gah! Fuck you, Jack!” Michael hissed, his face red as he stood up and pulled Gavin up with him. Jack simply gave them a smile before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. The room was silent for a moment, with Ryan looking at Michael and Gavin, and Michael and Gavin looking at the floor.  

“Ryan, you big smeg, you could’ve gotten yourself killed!” Gavin broke the silence by breaking his gaze from the floor and walking over to Ryan with a pout on his face. “I thought you were smarter than that, Mr. Mad Mercenary!” Gavin flopped on the end of the bed, careful of Ryan’s legs. Michael still didn’t move from his spot, keeping his hands behind his back.

“I try.” Ryan found that two small words at once weren’t that hard to get out. Gavin’s eyes widened and a large, goofy smile appeared on his face.

“Michael, did you hear that? Ryan spoke! It’s a Christmas miracle!” Gavin laughed, but when Michael only nodded he left out an exasperated huff and turned his attention back to Ryan. His eyes suddenly looked serious.

“Ryan, I know what happened to you before. With that Nutt guy. What he did to you.” Gavin whispered. Ryan looked at him for a moment with anger in his eyes; he knew Gavin was snooping around asking so many questions for a reason, but he never knew they’d go this far. He wanted to punch the little fuck, but couldn’t lift his damn arm.

“I’m sorry we let that happen to you again. We won’t in the future- don’t act like we don’t care about you, Ryan… You’re a part of this fucked up family now.” Ryan’s feelings of anger melted away and were replaced with some damn warm and fuzzy ones. Gavin didn’t bring Nutt up again, nor did he ask any more questions. All he did was make Ryan a promise.

“Here.” Something landed in his lap, and Ryan glanced down to see a fresh, new skull mask laying there. Michael was rubbing his head and wouldn’t look at him directly, but opened his mouth to speak.

“I know what it’s like to have a safety device. I have this necklace thing from Gav and Lindsay. I couldn’t function on jobs without it… So when I saw that Kdin had ruined your mask, I…” Michael grumbled something and looked at his feet again.

“Oh, he went nuts when Ray said Kdin took you!” Gavin grabbed Ryan’s attention again, “He made Geoff get everything ready to go straight away, and when we got to the pier and saw your mask in the water he practically blew up with anger! He said he’d be the one to kill Kdin, he was livid Ryan!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Michael was angry and embarrassed at the same time, and he smacked Gavin over the back of the head with his hand. Ryan felt a smile come to his face, and he looked at Michael with calm eyes.

“Thank you.” He meant it for more than just one thing, he found. The look that Michael gave him was hard to read, but he knew it meant well in the end.

“You’re welcome. Don’t get yourself blown up again, understand? Caleb was practically pissing himself when he saw he had to fix you up.” Michael grabbed Gavin’s arm and tugged him out of the room, waving goodbye to Ryan and leaving the door open a crack.

There was again silence, and Ryan smiled as he looked down at the mask that so closely represented his old one. He wished he could touch it, but Michael had seemed to look over the fact that his hands weren’t exactly capable of moving. In the last ten minutes, he felt like he had been told he was cared about, patched up old severed strings, and started to speak again. It was a lot to handle, but he liked it.

“How are you, asshole?” Geoff was the next to come into the room, his hands on his sides and a smile on his face. Ryan glanced up at him and shrugged his arms a little, looking back at the mask for a moment.

“I’ve got an itch.” Ryan nodded to his back, and Geoff’s smile turned to something of an exasperated frown.

“Of course you do. What am I, your maid girl?” Geoff came over and scratched Ryan’s back before smacking it and placing his hands back on his hips. Ryan knew their encounter here would be short- it was just how Geoff was.

“I’m glad you’re alright. I… I was afraid we’d already lost you. You’ve already grown on us, asshole, so don’t go getting yourself blown up or tortured again. Speaking of which- you’re not fucked up from that, are you? Kdin’s a bitch.” Geoff rubbed his arm and took a deep breath in, his eyes looking at Ryan’s casts- and his leg that was hidden under the blanket.

Ryan simply shook his head. He couldn’t say what Kdin had done to him had really ‘fucked him up.’ Sure, he’d broken at some point- but for some reason he found that speaking had turned out for the best. He could live through the pain, and he’d never tell them that Kdin had driven him to the point of snapping like he did- but right now, he felt perfectly fine.

“Good. Now, Ray’s out there figuring out if he has a boner for you or not- which you do for him, I’ve heard. I’d say ‘No inter-office romance,’ but I’ve already got the Lindsay-Gavin-Michael threeway going on. A simple relationship would be nice to handle.” Geoff winked at him, and Ryan felt his cheeks grow red. He wished he had his mask on right now.

Geoff left the room, and a few moments later Ray peeked his head in the door. Ryan looked up at him and their eyes shared a moment of togetherness before Ray came walking closer and sat down on the bed next to Ryan. There was an odd silence between them before Ray brought his hand up and laid it on Ryan’s casted arm.

“Listen- if you want to fuck me so badly, I suggest you take me on a date first. Not as the Mad Mercenary either. As Ryan Haywood. I want to know you.” Ray grumbled, looking at his hand on top of Ryan’s. “And then we can fuck.”

“I don’t want to fuck.” Ryan whispered, the words burning as they left his throat. He remembered Ray mentioning awhile back how he ‘didn’t like the whole sex thing,’ and he found he could live with that. No, he didn’t want to ‘just fuck.’

“What?” Ray blinked a few times and returned his gaze to Ryan’s face. Ryan put a small smile on, feeling deep warmth surround him as he looked at Ray.

“I want to love you. And be… loved back.” He was glad he saved his words for Ray. His throat was soar already and his head was pounding from the strain, but the look of relief on Ray’s face made it all seem alright.

“I still expect a date.” Ray smiled back at him, and brought his hand down to gently squeeze at Ryan’s fingers that were poking out from under the cast. Ryan nodded at him and tried his best to gently squeeze back at Ray’s own fingers.

“You say when.” He didn’t mind talking to Ray. He felt like he could really put every last but of trust he had in Ray, and so he did. And Ray accepted it, and gave his trust right back to Ryan; and he sealed it with a gentle kiss to Ryan’s cheek.

“There will be more from where that came from.” Ray whispered, his lips still against Ryan’s cheek. A shiver ran down Ryan’s spine, and he closed his eyes and let the moment sink in. He was accepted, he was loved, and he was actually happy for the first time in years. He never wanted to let this moment go; and he never would have to.

“Alright, get off the patient Ray! I don’t need your damn cooties to fix to.” Caleb entered the room with an angry look on his face, swatting Ray away from Ryan and kicking him out. Ray turned back for a moment though, waving his hand and holding it out.

“I’ll be back.”    

 


End file.
